So, I held my friends newborn today and all these memories came flooding back. Sounds very melodramatic, but it’s true.
There are so many things I’ve forgotten about that stage already and Bubs is only four months old! The way they flail uncontrollably, the little grunts and noises they make when they’re sleeping. How hard they try to get some kind of control over their disproportionately weighted head or, that hungry scream/cry they make that makes your heart hurt.
It’s funny how all through pregnancy (which for me couldn’t go quickly enough, I googled how to bring on labour more times than I care to admit) people tell you that time just FLIES by and before you know it they’ll be in high school. They weren’t wrong that’s for sure. I now have a four month old who’s already trying to crawl. I maintain that she’ll probably be bald till high school, but that’s just my theory.
Chatting to my new mummy friend and hearing all the things I went through only a couple months back, its hard not to get all nostalgic. Like breastfeeding – which feels like second nature to me now, I can whip my DD’s out wherever and whenever Bubs needs. But I’d forgotten the way you wince in pain just before they ‘latch’ onto your nipple, which are slowly but surely being sucked to oblivion. And how many times you hear the word ‘latch’, how you didn’t think you’d ever use the word ‘latch’, but ‘latch’ ends up being apart of your everyday vocabulary. Or, when they’re ready for a feed they madly shake their head side to side trying to ‘latch’ (see) – I think I recorded this once because I thought it was hilarious, am I a bad Mum? Or, when they fall asleep sucking and their suction of death sees your nipple stretched 15cm in front of you as you try to remove them…
I remember thinking how beautiful and natural breastfeeding was but how strange and weird it is at the same time. But it’s learning a new skill and everything takes time to get accustomed to as does the reality of blood blisters, cracked nipples and coming to terms with the fact a newborn can manage to scratch a stretched, bleeding nipple. I couldn’t believe I’d forgotten how engorged and painful my boobs were when my milk ‘came in’ and calling the ABA for advice – such a phenomenal service by the way, use it! I honestly had it easy, I really enjoyed how challenging and rewarding those first few weeks were. We were blessed with a great feeder and sleeper from the get go, but it wasn’t without some rough patches.
Looking back I’d forgotten how many times I had to deal with blocked ducts and night sweats and feeling so run down and sleep deprived. All the while knowing I had to keep it together because my gorgeous baby was so dependent on me. Reading this you couldn’t help to think how awesome all new mums are and how easy it would be to get overwhelmed by it all, could you?
I wouldn’t change the past four months for the world and I’m here to remind you that when everything’s going wrong just remember you are amazing and you’ve got this. You know your little person better than anyone, but just like any new relationship you both need time to adjust to each other and find what works best FOR YOU. Nights and night feedings that feel like they wont end actually do and everything gets so much easier, I promise.
Love, Mum who misses the newborn phase – as will you, so soak in as many amazing and horrible moments you can.
xxx
Just Mummying 